boys are the pinnacle of confusing

New boy

Too early to tell

ooooh, but i do like him so!

what is this?  what what  a few drinks?  well hello crazy child

My heart is a terrible messy broken thing.  I don't even want to look at it these days.  Sexual anarchy is devastating to emotional health.  About myself,  i learned something, anatomy did me a wrong turn and placed my heart on this ridiculous spot on my wrist.

i desperately want all the things i can't have

i miss katie

My life sucks

new boy

such is my life these days

will update again when I've fought off the cynicism

is officially on summer break

possible new boy

nice and smart and goofy

and good for my spirits after the Davin failure

I have had a personal epiphany.  I am going to start a period of sexual and emotional personal anarchy. I believe it is the only way to find out who i am, what kind of person i want to be,and what kind of person i want to be with.  I'm not going to fight my emotions or behaviors, I'm gonna let impulses guide my future for a while and just try to be very basically human.  not ignore the neocortex by any means but acknowledge those older deeper parts of the human brain.

ignore last post.  Now it seems i've become early Sunday morning fuck buddy.

This is easier on me than yesterday assumption

I'm rather immune to the being felt up and left deal

but being fucked and then left is a new horizon that seems as if it may have just opened in my life

I'm seeing a night of very little sleep in my immediate future.  this is what i get for napping from 6-8...poooo

there will be much coffee in my morning

so i've posted about biology and my new reason for going

i believe you remember

done and done and done.

now i have no reason to go

this is actually making me very very angry

i got more than 100 on my last test boosting me to the top of the class.  and so i didn't go to lec or lab today.  this might be bad...

eee

i am so excited about my life right now

there's the doing good in school bit, that is very very awesome

but there's also the bit about Davin and his pretty pretty sad blue eyes

gah

...update:

snog snog snog snog

so, i am pointedly not studying and planning potential tattoos.  I want to run this idea past you guys.

so i want to get a ship on the inside of each ankle (just like a little outline sketch) and then maybe "we pass and speak one another only a look and a voice."  ships that pass in the night...? eh? eh?

tell me what you think.  is it dumb?  when i told anna she called me a dork.  would it be too much?  i don't know...

Auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhh!

so little sleep
so much Coffee!!!!

There's a big sadness
that comes sometimes, and doesn't offer any reason.  It mocks me.  'you thought you were better, i own your brain chemistry.' i stare at the wall but i don't make pictures in the bumps, and wounder which girl is me.

I've found a new way to stay interested in bio.  she posted everyones grades on the lab door today and i'm 4th in the class.  i will at least be 2nd by the end of the semester, and this is how i will motivate myself to go every day